Tag Archives: adults

Support and Encourage

 

It doesn’t matter if you are playing sports, are a kid or parent, have a job, are a stay at home parent, or are at the grocery store.  Kindness is key to survival and supporting each other is one of the best things we can do to leave this world in tact for our children.

I can think of many situations over the years to share, but there is a reason why they are in the past and have given me something to learn from.

We are not perfect, we may not believe in the act or logic of others and find it difficult to support their choices, however there is no need to ignore or be disrespectful to them.  Obviously if they are murderers, pedophiles, etc., you will not find many supporting those actions… I think you get my point.

What I am talking about is life. As my children are growing and are now teenagers and our lives are ever evolving, I am so much more in tune with the behaviors of others and teaching our children how to react to those behaviors.  As most of what they have learned is that the behaviors of others are usually issues within that person.

Recently I had observed two different scenarios that involved each of my children.  My youngest is in 7th grade, my oldest is a freshman and they both play for their school volleyball teams.  They have many friends on their teams that they have been friends with since elementary school, as well as played sports with.  As parents, we know most of these families.

I was attending my 7th graders game.  All of the players played a great game.  They were high-fiving and cheering each other on.  It was great to see them support each other, even when mistakes were made.  As an adult, you would expect to see most parents cheering on all of the players. Well, there was one parent who only cheered for her own child. As I observed from behind, it was an act that really disappointed me, yet realizing that maybe not many people probably noticed.  Especially the kids. However, this flood of emotion came over me and I realized I was letting the actions of this person destroy my inner peace.

Long story short, I did let it effect my joy in supporting all those kids.  It was noticed by other parents.  I let it get to me, because my child is friends with this parent’s child.  Which made me even more sad that an adult would behave in such a way.  In the big scheme of things, it really isn’t that detrimental.  It is merely an example of who not to be.

On to the freshman.  She has performed very strongly in volleyball and was asked to train and play with the JV team. She was very concerned about her teammates feelings and wasn’t sure if she wanted to accept the request.  Her kind heart was making this a difficult decision but also teaching her to take experiences and learn from them.  As we both have learned, when asked in high school sports, you just DO and figure it out along the way.

I was so proud of her teammates and parents in the support and encouragement she received.  There will always be feelings of jealousy or insecurity throughout their lives but to see how that was pushed aside and shown how to lift each other up with encouragement was pretty impressive. Due to her coming up to the JV team, the players brought their game up and the coaches felt she would have more play time and be of better value staying with the freshman team. A decision that she was happy about.
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No one is perfect. There’s always going to be somebody better than you at something. Why not learn, absorb and celebrate our differences and encourage each other. #getoveryourself

Better Options Than Sports Drinks

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As the months stay warm and will soon be blistering hot, staying hydrated is a priority.  Most warmer months involve active bodies outside in the heat, and as much as water should be your first option, for some it can get a little boring.  Maintaining proper hydration is very important, regardless of whether you are exercising for 15 minutes or 60, sweating profusely, sitting and watching a soccer game in the heat or outdoors chilling by a pool. Always be conscious of your water consumption and sun exposure.

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Monday Mantra: Character; Respect

I have been posting these quotes or mantras, as I have been calling them, and most of these come from the everyday life experiences within our family and some quotes just hit me a certain way and I feel that sharing them can help someone’s day be better.

 

As the saying goes, “treat others how you would like to be treated”… life’s lessons

 

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Something we have worked on teaching both of our daughters is to be respectful towards others. Along with that comes, liking and having respect for yourself so that you are confident to not let others be takers. I could type a few pages on this topic, so I am just getting to the nitty-gritty.  Now, even as an adult I am reminding myself that as well. Learning that even when someone does not show respect, it is very important to not react the same way and be the nice person you are and treat them as how you would want to be treated. Yes, it can be difficult because our automatic reaction is to be rude and call them out. Well, call them out with kindness and respect. Leave the situation or conversation feeling good about who you are and know that you didn’t come down to their level.  The problem lies within that person and not with you.

So what do you do when your child tells you that an adult (a friends parent) is rude to them? How would it make you feel when your 11 year old daughter says to you, “Suzy’s” mom is rude, she never says “Hi” back to me when I and another friend wave and say “Hi” to her”.

“THANK GOD for meditation!!” was my first thought :)  And second thought was, “Really, how difficult is it to acknowledge someone saying “Hi” to you, you can be rude to me and ignore my acknowledging you, but not to my child”. Being rude to me doesn’t excuse the behavior but an 11 year old is going to take it to heart and that is unacceptable. Seriously, mama bear was trying to climb her way out, but I took control before she could emerge. I am sure my face didn’t hide it.  I was trying to take some deep breathes and gather my thoughts before I blurted anything out.  I was very disappointed to hear this and it broke my heart because my daughter is extremely genuine, kind and thoughtful. It was very confusing to me that an adult, a grown female would behave this way.  Without making my daughter feel as though I was dismissing what she was telling me, I asked if this parent maybe didn’t hear her.  My daughter assured me that was not the case. So I didn’t say much because I had to be careful to not berate this adult in front of my daughter. We had a brief discussion about respect, which she has heard before.  We also talked about not letting the mind games of someone get to you, as I have no idea why this adult would not acknowledge a child that she knows saying “Hi” to her.  Anyway, what it came down to my daughter knowing is that, NEVER let someone like that stop you from continuing to wave and say “Hi”, let alone anything else you know is kind, respectful, thoughtful and courteous. I did not want her to think she did something wrong for a parent to react and treat her that way. For my daughter to know that this person has an internal issue that my daughter can’t fix and that doesn’t excuse the behavior but it may help her understand that she did everything respectfully.

Knowing that this little life lesson didn’t do much damage to my daughter and her response of “oh, I am going to keep waving and saying “HI”, because why shouldn’t I” made me very proud that an 11 YEAR OLD, is more mature than a 35+ year old parent (yes, that comment could be viewed as immature and I can live with that  I, had to express what crossed my mind :).  On a more serious note,  my daughter understands that even though this adult doesn’t deserve my daughters respect, my daughter knows she has respect for herself and is a better human for showing it.

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Monday Mantra: Continue

Learning that if we are willing to do something for someone else, they may not reciprocate. Life lessons…

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Mantra for Monday

Little Lessons in life…

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The Power of “Thank You”

Those TWO simple words when spoken can put a smile on someone’s face immediately and show your appreciation.

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